The Tyranny of Expectations – Part 1

I was talking to Ed, a friend of mine, recently. He told me a story I want to share with you.

He said, “The other day I lost it. There was just one demand too many being made on my time. My glass was full, and my colleagues put one more ice cube in it. It overflowed. I was upset more at myself than at anyone else. For their expectation was a valid one, given my responsibilities. It was just one too many.”

            He continued, “Then I went home. Sometimes, it just seems to get worse. At home, we expect ourselves to be super-dads or super-moms: soccer matches, baseball games, concerts, our kid’s school plays, karate lessons, Boy and Girl Scouts, physical exercise, practicing our faith, staying centered and focused. And don’t forget, spending time with our significant other.”

            “Right,” we all say sarcastically. It’s not about time management anymore; it seems to be about life management.

            I keep hearing this same refrain from more and more people. There is no time anymore – or so it seems. So many of us put our family and work commitments before those of our own health and well-being. One friend called it the “plague of success.”

            I call it the “tyranny of expectations.” There are so many expectations of us. At work, we’re expected to respond instantly to the emails and phone calls we receive. We expect ourselves to honor all those commitments of things that were due yesterday. And while we’re responsible for business results, we also expect ourselves to be as effective in our work relationships. We work 50, 60, or even 70 hours a week, give away one or two days on the weekends, and still most of us have a pile of things undone. No, it’s not about time management anymore. It’s about life management.        (To be continued)